Starts with P

A skein of cashmere to the person who guessed pneumonia.

Bean is Not Well although she loved having the chest x-ray and the thought that people were taking pictures of her insides. Me, well, let's just say that "Turning Japanese" kept running through my head.
I want the doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well

Ahem.

It's been a long day and then I get notice that my rebate for my lovely carpet was denied because Great Indoors seems to think that 5/27 does not fall between the dates of 4/15 and 5/31. Bastards. We'll be contacting the store directly about that one.

If I had any energy left after 4 1/2 hours of doctors and pharmacies, I'd take a picture of my dinner. As it is, you'll just have to envision a very full glass of an extremely dry French rose.

A plague upon your house

Bean has been ultra-generous and given me whatever godoxious plague that she has. The bright point was that, after I finally took to my bed this afternoon, she brought me one of her favorite stuffed animals to make me feel better. Given that Bean has had this crap for about 10 days so far, has been on antibiotics for three days and is still running fever, coughing her head off and generally pretty darn sick; my future is bleak.

Back to bed.

Wake-Up Call

We're going to the circus today. Bean very timidly asked the doctor if she could still go yesterday and the doctor gave her a Well Duh! look and told her, "Of course you can go. Why not?!) Our church has a summer program for the small fry, and, when they offered up circus tickets at $10 each, Dr. Pig and I responded with a hearty, "Hell, yeah!" to be parent leaders of the expedition.

We are meeting at the church in an our or so and then taking the train into downtown. It's going to be a total blast.

Bean cannot wait. In the most literal of fashions. Somehow, she decided we all needed to get up at 6.30am, so we won't be late. At 11.30pm, I was woken out of a very sound sleep to a small person by my bed telling me it was 6.30am. I sent her out to her father who was still awake for a glass of water to help with the coughing and to go back to sleep.

At 5.03am, we are both awakened out of even sounder sleeps (I think I was drooling) by a very cheerful voice telling us that it HAD to be 6.30 by now.

We just got her up for the real wakeup and she's dragging around much as you'd expect. The best part? "Mama? I'm reeeeaaaallly tired." Heh! Me too, you little rat, but at least I can have coffee. You can't. Nyah nyah nyah!

Just when you think it's stopped raining

It floods.

Bean has had a nagging and increasingly worrisome cough percolating for about a week, so today I took her to the doctor. Experience has taught me that in the case of anything that seems cold related, it's best to let it wait for a week unless accompanied by a crazy fever. Otherwise, they just tell you to wait a week and then charge you $120 (after insurance) for the pleasure.

She has an antibiotic, thank Pete. While we were waiting for the visit and then the recheck of her oxygen levels and then another listen to the lungs, etc - took 1 1/2 hours, all hell broke loose weather-wise. It was sunny when we went in.

About 15 minutes before we left, it started raining cats and dogs. I asked a nice lady to stand with her while I ran to get the car. (You can do this in Texas plus it's not like there was anywhere she could go.) I stepped out from under the porte cacher and was immediately soaked to the skivvies. It was like standing under a shower whilst fully clothed. I couldn't see through my glasses. The puddles were about a foot deep. Weird stuff. And, of course, I had my new leather purse and a pair of leather loafers on. The loafers are probably a write-off, but I left the purse with Bean, so it's fine.

So, get the car under the porte chacher and get Bean in the car and go home to find Dr. Pig making dinner.

Dry off.

About an hour and a half later, Dr. Pig heads out to fill the prescription. It stopped raining an hour ago, so all should be well. He heads to get coffee for tomorrow first, but the intersection is completely flooded out so he heads north for the scrip. The power at the Walgreen's is completely out and the doors are locked with a sign up.

Off to the next Walgreen's. This involves a trip past the flood point.

Maybe we stopped too soon on the ark building. I did a quick check of our yard and there are some small branches down, screens off the gutters, and a general vague sense of something apocalyptic in the neighborhood. We regularly get high straight line winds and other meteorological oddities up on our hill, but this, apparently, was a doozy.

Miracles do happen

Most of you will remember that Bean had surgery for strabismus on both of her eyes in January.

Today was her six month followup and the doctor told us that Bean no longer has to wear glasses! The doctor was just as amazed as we were but Bean is doing great and has near perfect vision and her eyes are in alignment! We are having to patch her to strengthen her weaker eye for a couple of hours a day, but that's OK.

Thank you so much for all your thoughts and prayers at that time because I fully believe that had a hand in what is pretty much a miracle for our family. It may not sound that significant, but if strabismus isn't treated properly, it can result in blindness in the affected eye.

Obviously, she may have to wear glasses again in the future, but it's amazing that she's out of them for the first time since she was 20 months old!

Carpet

The carpet will be installed Tuesday.

Because I cannot read a calendar, I scheduled the carpet to be installed two days before I am hosting an art class for my church kids group. The plan was to have the class outside, however, we are still busy with the ark building and whatnot and I will never move to Seattle because My God The Rain Is Making Me Crazy.

Normal Texas summers include swimming and playing in the sprinklers and being outside and having to get your butt to the playground before 9 so it's not too hot to play. This Texas summer features nothing but rain. We had 11 inches of rain in June. Normal is around 2 inches. My tomatoes were all blooming and lovely and ready to produce a huge crop. We counted 182 grape tomatoes growing on the vines and countless blooms ready to pop. All rained to death. We never got any sun so they never ripened.

Meanwhile, I have to have 1400 sq feet of house including all of our closets moved into the garage before Tuesday. And I'm hosting a dinner party tonight and I have a hair appointment at 2. Apparently, I no longer believe in sitting down.

Good thing guacamole is the easiest and most appreciated appetizer in the world.

Guac

2 medium Hass avocados
Juice of one lime
small spoonful of mayo
minced red onion
minced cilantro
diced tomato
salt

Dice the avocado and add the lime and mayo and mash until smoothish. You want some texture, but no big chunks of avocado. Add salt to taste. Add the red onion, tomato and cilantro to taste. I add probably a couple of tablespoons of each. Taste and add a bit more salt and lime if needed.

Make it up no more than half an hour before serving. Put in a bowl and put plastic wrap on top of the guac (not the bowl, the guac itself), making sure no air pockets are left. The pit doesn't really do anything except stop oxidation where it comes in contact with the guac. Putting plastic wrap directly on the guac accomplishes the same goal.

Rock Star

Bean achieved an important milestone last weekend.

Her first rock concert!

This one featured the not-at-all-painful musical stylings of Ralph's World (punk rocker turned kid's singer) who sing one of my favorite songs ever:

M-O-M-M-Y needs C-O-F-F-E-E
D-A-D-D-Y needs C-O-F-F-E-E

(fun and educational because Bean learned to spell Mommy, Daddy and coffee!)

also featuring the verse

I need a latte, a cappuccino
and tonight I think I'll have a little vino

At the end of show, they got all the kids on stage and, of course, parents took their kids.

This is what happened.



Yes, I'm playing the bass.

Yes, I'm really playing the bass.








You can see the part of the bass player on the extreme right of the photo. And pieces of three of my adult friends in the background. The bass player handed me the bass and told me to strum. So, I did.

There's video.

With headbanging.

(Much to the bass player's delight - he said most people are too embarrassed to have fun with it. Like you can embarrass me.)

Fortunately, the people with the camera are in their 40s like me, so YouTube is doubtful.

Parts

I was putting the washing into the dryer when I spied, on the bottom of the washer, a roach corpse. Or, rather, two pieces of a roach corpse. Now, I am fine with any kind of bug or critter except roaches. In Texas, we get these enormous Bugs Of Doom. This thing was probably a good 1 and 1/2" inches when whole. So, anyway, I'm putting the laundry in the dryer and then I see roach bits stuck in a couple of the holes in the side of the washer. And a big smear of roach guts.

Fortunately, my husband was still home and cleaned out the washer for me (I then ran a towel and alot of bleach through because EWWWWWWWWWWW) but I had to shake out the laundry and, I don't really want to talk about it except to reiterate that I Really Don't Like Roaches.

I'm rewashing everything now. I was afraid I'd be washing my face and run into a roach leg.

Gives me the wiggins.

I've got good company for my birthday

Thumper and Yarn Harlot.

We've been doing nothing but celebrating. We went out to eat Tuesday courtesy of a friend, last night courtesy of my husband and, today for lunch, courtesy of my parents.

After all of this gluttony, I must eat super-healthy for a while because it's bathing suit season and I'm passing the point of wanting to appear in a suit. Granted, most women hate bathing suits, but I want to keep it where the first thing that's noticed is the chest. That way no one will realize I even have thighs! My thighs are threatening a corporate takeover. Bad thighs! The sad fact is that after 40, your body views calories in an entirely different way and wants to keep them and love them and hug them and slather your butt with them.

Today is the start of an overly busy weekend. It's been feast or famine around here. I'm hoping that, after this week, we can settle down to a mellow summer. I need time to knit a shawl for my mother's birthday in a couple of months.

My foot hurts

Oh, it's not awful, but I have been on my feet for most of the day and, suddenly, my big toe has started to feel a bit owwy.

Good excuse to sit around and knit while Bean is at Vacation Bible School, huh? (VBS this year is a bit too Jesus Camp for me, so I declined to teach it. Bean loves it and the people are all very, very sweet, but I'm a bit too world religion to relate stories as "a true story from God's word". I'm more on the level of, "it's a cool book about God and have you read this one from the Upanishads?")

Today, I occupied myself working on a business plan to get angel investors for a friend's real estate development company. (And suddenly found myself with the job title of Director of Operations which just makes me laugh like hell. That MBA is coming in mighty handy these days. That and years of experience watching small companies blow up through lack of proper planning.)

Not as bad as it looks

It's a good thing that you can't see under the bandages, because I have a nice slice in my foot. I patched myself up with butterfly sutures and a couple of big bandaids, but it's a bit nasty under there (no, I did not need stitches, but it was close).




Don't drop one of these on your foot.

Cleaning House

I'm not knitting.

I'm shopping for carpet.

We only have hardwoods in a small part of the house. We've been here for eight years and the carpet wasn't new when we moved in. After 6 years of dog and 5 years of child, the carpet, she is shot. It's that nasty stuff made out of plastic so it doesn't wear out so much as ugly out. The stain resistance? Yeah, not so much.

So, instead of yarn, my wool of choice these days is carpet. We've narrowed it down to two. And I'm buying a houseful of the stuff this weekend.

This is the part of home ownership that's not so much fun.

The carpet buying isn't so bad. Plus, I have a neighbor who is a decorator with fabulous taste so I laid out the samples for her and then did the Happy Happy Joy Joy when she picked my favorite as the best one. But when it sank in that I would have to clean out the closets and under the beds and move everything small into the den and kitchen? Not a pretty face. Charities all over town are getting stacks of lovely things I don't want to touch more than once. Example: Husband's bachelor kitchen stuff was under the bed. We haven't thought about it in eight years. Goodbye 30-year-old Corelle!

Ralph!

No, not ralph.

Ralph's World!

Coming to town.

Bean is so excited she keeps asking me if it's a month from now yet.

Ralph is revered in our home - along with Dan Zanes - for providing music for children that still manages to be witty and entertaining for the adults and is never condescending to the kiddos.

Ralph! At House of Blues!

Of course, there must be at least a small fly in the ointment and there are two:

1.) The show is the same day as the birthday party of Bean's best friend. Fortunately, the timing is such that she can attend both, but it's going to be a long day.

2.) The show is general admission and at 9AM. This means having to get up hella early to go to the show. I hate getting up early to stand in line more than almost anything in the world. Including oral surgery.

Oh, and the show is during Birthday Week. But making Bean happy as a clam is a pretty good birthday present for me!

What you get for your PhD

Me: Is that thunder?
Him: Yes.
Me: Tell Bean to get inside and you might not want to be standing around on the patio with those metal tongs in your hand.
Him (aggravated): It's not lightening.
Me (smartass): And it thunders when?
Him: Bean, get inside.

Heh.

On a serious note, it's not raining at all but it's pretty loud thunder and two guys in town were electrocuted in separate incidents this weekend because they figured that if it wasn't raining, they were OK.

Is it summer yet?

Because, dude, it was 90F yesterday.

Oh, wait, that's Texan for spring.

But Bean and I are ready for the slower days of summer. It's birthday party season which means a party or two every weekend. Combine that with a sudden flurry of adult activities and several pretty hefty storms resulting in a constant need to clean tree limbs (not even our trees sometimes) out of the yard and you have a tired child and tired parents.

I can't wait for Memorial Day.

New adventures in arguing

The Bean, being a relatively bright kid, can and will use logic and reasoning against you and has for about the past year-and-a-half. This can make parenting ... interesting.

Yesterday, the zoo brought a bunch of animals to her school and she learned that animals that are awake in the night are called nocturnal. She also learned what animals that are awake in the day are called but couldn't remember. I thought it was diurnal, but we got busy and I didn't have a chance to look it up.

Long about 3pm, we're back at the house and she's getting really cranky, so I tell her she really needs to take a nap.

Much screaming ensues. (I've heard that 5 is The Year of the Boss and, so far, she's right on schedule.)

"I CAN'T TAKE A NAP. ONLY NOCTURNAL ANIMALS SLEEP DURING THE DAY AND I'M TURNAL!!!"

Ah, the benefits of education.

I've been a bad, bad girl...

There is nothing like a bit of self-indulgent wallowing to make one get over oneself.

The sun is out and it's a beautiful day and life is mighty fine.

The delivery of my April shipment of the Rockin' Sock Club didn't hurt.












And a little retail therapy never hurt anything either! I have been coveting a pair of gorgeous orange peep toe pumps at J. Crew for several months now. But they were a bit pricey for what was a complete indulgence. Nevertheless, I wandering in to see if perhaps I would get lucky and they would be on sale. On sale for half off. Score!

But it gets better. Much better.

Everything in the store that is on sale is an additional 50% off. Double Score!!!!!

But they don't have my size in orange. Sadness!

But they order them for me over the phone and, although the web and catalog price isn't on sale yet, I get my sale upon sale price!


I decided that I'd get the brown ones as well. And then I started thinking about it and realized that a cream pair would come in handy. (At this point, the three pair of shoes have cost me less that one pair full price.) I've bought one pair of heels since Bean was born. I have lots of thong sandals, but no heels. And they are such sexy heels. Not to mention insanely comfortable - always hard to find in a heel.

Then I decided to check out Crewcuts (J Crew for the small set) and they had the same 50% of anything on sale deal going on. Who can resist little navy chinos embroidered all over with strawberries for $10? Not me.

I told my husband that, when you think about it, I had really bought the heels for him, not me. Because he never gets to see me in heels. So, it's a treat! (Ahem)

Only One

I hate it when people ask if Bean has any siblings and say "Only one?", "Aren't you going to give her a brother or a sister?"

As if I can go to Toys R Us and get her a sibling for Christmas.

I would have loved to have more children. She's the result of my third pregnancy. The first time I became pregnant, I was 35. I had Bean two months shy of my 38th birthday. I had every minor malady you can have while pregnant: the itchy rashes, the heartburn and acid reflux, sciatica, and the wonderful "morning" sickness every single day of my pregnancy (seriously, I got up for my c-section - she was sideways - and, because it was 6.30am, I had to throw up).

I had her and nursed for a year and then went into a terrible bout of postpartum depression and anxiety after she stopped nursing.

Then I started menopause. At 39. Which really helps even out that emotional roller coaster. Ahem.

Bean didn't really sleep through the night until she was almost three. And believe me we tried everything. Well, we didn't drug her, but man I was tempted a few times. Once she could really express herself verbally, the nighttime waking stopped.

I think my body wouldn't get pregnant again, because I would have gone off the deep end.

Now, at almost 43, I see her going off to kindergarten this fall and I'm terribly lonely and feel as if I should have tried harder to have another child. I see how wonderful she is with the siblings of her friends and feel as if I have somehow deprived her. I feel as if somehow I have failed.

And it pisses me off that people glibly suggest adoption. Yes, I could adopt. But that's hardly an easy solution. I have friends who have been trying to adopt for years and it's incredibly difficult, not to mention financially burdensome. At this point I am 43 and I don't really want to start over. I have to have faith that things worked out this way for a reason.

I know I'm lucky to have her.

God gave me a wonderful family.

My husband is an only child and can't fathom why I get upset. It never bothered him at all.

But sometimes it is so hard and it hurts so much.

ETA: Well, Bean managed to help me get out of my self-indulgent funk. She just had a meltdownscreamingconniptionfit of epic proportions, including hitting and kicking. She's fine now, but it certainly made me appreciate some of the finer points of one ;>

Y'all are too smart for me

Can't fool a fooler!

My all-time favorite April Fool's joke was when I was getting my MBA. We all read the Wall Street Journal most days, and there was this huge full-page add that Taco Bell had taken out, announcing that they had bought the Liberty Bell, which would henceforth be known as the Taco Liberty Bell. Now, for a bunch of people who were alot smarter than me, they weren't that swift on the uptake. I looked at the ad and the commotion and remarked, "Check the date on the paper."

"Yeah, April first, what does that have to do with anything?"

"Um, April Fool's Day?"

Half the class was convinced that it was still true and the date was a coincidence. There was a huge, national outrage and the best part was that when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked to comment, he told the reporter that the Lincoln Memorial had been bought by Ford and would now be the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial.

Best joke of all time.

No More Knitting

I've decided to stop knitting.

Stash sale tomorrow.