Tuesday, September 20, 2005


I know there are people out there reading this blog. I have to admit I was a bit surprised that NO ONE has yet commented on Tomatoes - even if they only say, "MY God, that's really ugly." Granted she is ugly. But in that "so ugly it's great" way.

Bean is in preschool three days a week now. It's changed my life. Really. I actually have, get this, time to myself.

I remember when Bean was about 8 months old and my husband had taken her somewhere while he ran errands. I had the sudden realization that it was the first time I'd been alone in the house since she'd been born. Wild. Yes, I'd gone out without her, but I never got any time alone in my own house.

When you have a small child, you forget the restorative power of being alone with your thoughts. Of silence. Of having the time to just be.

Bean is having total fun at preschool. I have to drag her away. She's a bright child and was ready for a classroom experience. She started to hate MDO last year because it was boring. She wants to do things and not just play.

And I am finding that I have plenty of time to play at my own fun and still have time to do "chores". It's no longer an either/or prospect that leaves me feeling either frustrated or guilty. Very liberating.

It's also nice to see all my piles of stuff to get to later are now being dealt with. It's finally "later". Yesterday, I cleaned my desk and organized everything. I can actually see the floor of my laundry room. I can see a day in the not-so-distant future when I won't have to clean and organize my house area by area and room by room. When it will just be a few hours a week of maintenance. How strange is that? Maybe I'll have time to really sit down and design all those knitting projects I've been fiddling with on paper!