Beats hair in a baggie

I was going to title this one "Better Laetner Than Never" but I reconsidered given my audience.

I went to a charity luncheon thingy today. The food was Grade A Prime Crap. At least the rolls were good. And a bunch of things were auctioned off, including vast amount of Mavericks paraphernalia because apparently they are in the playoffs for the NBA title. Unfortunately, if it's not college basketball, I'm not interested.

It was interesting the amount of money raised on the auction items because it was a room full of women bidding on things like golf for you and a buddy with Don Nelson (Jr.) and Brad Davis. They auctioned off autographed bobbleheads. They auctioned off autographed balls. And then it went wonky.

They auctioned off some of Dirk Nowitski's hair. Seriously. It was hair in a baggie.

Can I have a group ICK!!!!, please? Thank you.

We just could not get over the whole hair-in-a-baggie thing. Did he bathe first? Was it after a game and, hence, sweaty hair? The squick factor is tremendous.

Someone at my table bid to get our group on the news tonight. FauxVo is ready to record me grinning like a loon and telling everyone to come to the next charity event this fall. Beats hair in a baggie.

I think that's going to be my new theme. Any time anything bad happens, I'm going to say, "Beats hair in a baggie."