Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Things to remember in summer

Summer in Texas is hot. We are the type of people who realize that we're about to break the record for most days over 100F, and we root for the hot. We wear long pants and long sleeved shirts to the office or grocery and take a sweatshirt to movies because we know that the few seconds of sweat in the parking lot are going to be greeted with a blast of arctic air inside.

The North has windchill; we have a heat index. Y'all have ridiculous heating bills; we can't sleep with the windows open because the low is in the 90s.

I know it's hot. But, please consider the following:

If your abs cannot sustain a pack rating of a minimum of four, please put on a shirt.

If you have enough body hair to confuse a person as to whether you are coming or going, please put on a shirt.

If you are one of those guys who gets sweaty and rashy in the sun, KEEP YOUR DAMN SHIRT ON.

Seriously, Target sells really cheap running singlets (tank tops) for guys. Buy some and spare us the view. I know you are the guys who would be the first to comment on my figure were I to embark on my morning run in a sports bra and Sharks (do they still sell Sharks?). Get some self awareness and realize you are no longer 23. It's great that you can still wear the same waist size you did in high school, but dude, your inseam used to be 32" and it's now 24" due to dunlop's disease (his belly done lopped over his belt).

And those of you who are in fabulous condition, have 12 packs, a lovely tan, and are veritable Greek gods of physical perfection?

Set a good example and put a shirt on anyway.